3am

I have no idea what's up with my attitude recently. After being thoroughly out-witted, I've become increasingly obsessed with knowing what a person is thinking or where they've been and what they've done. I've become much more observant than I already am (friends will tell you that I'm extremely observant since I have this game in which I analyse my surroundings and determine my chances of survival if any given disaster was to happen.)

I've also starting doing things just to see what the outcome will be. I have to hold myself back sometimes. Today, I wondered what it'd be like if, instead of getting off a bus at my stop, I just carried on until the bus had finished it's route. In the end I did get off at my stop, but narrowly avoided actually going through with it. I've also considered (for about a week now) simply not going into work. Not because I'm bored or lazy, but just to see what would happen. Another example; I just sent someone an anonymous message just to see if they could work out who it is. I don't really know why.


I'm not feeling particularly emotionally strong recently either. I suppose I haven't done in about three months. My close friends know about the significant people who have played their part in those three months. It seems to be one significant other after another - which draws into question their significance. Do I fall for people this easily? Or do I simply find comfort in having someone like that? I think in most cases, it's the latter. However, there's one person who persistently plays on my mind. Just like my ex, perhaps I just need time to get over it.